I have ridiculously varied musical tastes, and pretty much listen to most things. Jonesy is the same as me. In a game of Guess The Intro she will beat anyone hands down, correctly supplying the band name, song title and release date (UK and Worldwide) within a matter of seconds – which ultimately annoys the crap out of everyone else playing (no’one likes a smartarse Jonesy) – but neither of us could say we were into any particular “genre” of music. My iPod holds a truly mixed collection of genres from classical to country, indie to electronica, dance to rap, show tunes to goth rock, and much, much more in between....which incidentally makes the “shuffle” function a dangerous choice at parties or in the office!
When Jonesy told me that she and her chap Will were going to be getting tickets for the Download Rock Festival and did I want to go too, I thought – why the heck not? I’ve been to festivals before. Oh okay, that’s stretching it a bit...I’ve been to the V Festival on several occasions – that’s sort of the same right? Granted I was younger, less likely to miss the creature comforts of a flushing toilet, a daily shower and a comfy chair to sit on, but I figured I could hack it. Besides we’d be in Will’s VW Camper “Betty” so at least it was a step up from camping in a tent! I have to be honest and say that most of the line up consisted of bands I didn't even know the names of, never mind any of their material, but as I perused the website’s line up confirmation I was at least amused by some of the more colourful band names, for instance... Lawnmower Deth. Seriously – can you imagine your musically gifted and talented child coming home, after several years classical guitar training, and saying;
“Mum we’ve done it! We’ve been signed! We’ve got a record deal! We’re going to be billionaires!”
“That’s lovely son, what’s the band called?”
“Lawnmower Deth”
“Oh, your Grandma will be proud – I’m sure she’ll come to see every concert!”
Then we had the Cancer Bats – nice (I’m sure they’re a very polite group of young men) Suicidal Tendencies (presumably you’d have these after listening to them for too long) and my personal favourite...Five Finger Death Punch. Now what is that? Is that different to a normal punch? I.e. Four fingers and a thumb punch? Maybe that just didn’t sound sinister enough?...but surely a five finger death punch is a two handed affair? So perhaps a four finger slap and a poke in the eye...? Maybe I’m thinking about this too much??
I should state for the record that I actually thoroughly enjoyed most of these bands, despite the fact that with all their heavy death metal “raaah-ing” I’m quite sure by the time they’re forty they’ll have no voices left. In fact Jonesy and I delighted in winding up the hardcore rock crowd around us by exclaiming in loud voices things like;
“Oh...Oh dear no...well that’s just shouting isn’t it?”
“I agree entirely Jonesy, I’m sure if he sang the melody he’d have the voice of an angel”
Needless to say we weren’t taking it very seriously, but that’s because we’ve got the experience of age on our side, and we’re secure enough in our own personalities to not need to latch onto any one particular “trend” and embrace it as some kind of expression of our own personal angst...unlike the yoof of today it appears, who proceeded to give us some rather confused and sometimes even disdainful looks. I can honestly say though, that despite the high levels of teen angst, and equally as high levels of aging rocker syndrome, (seriously guys...there comes a time when we should all cut our long hair...for you, it’s when it doesn’t start until you get behind your ears) I have never been to such a pleasant event. It was superbly organised, and the kids and adults alike were all well mannered, likable – if not a little eccentric – individuals. There was no trouble, no fighting, no obvious signs of hard drugs, no chavs and much to my delight, barely even a whiff of world cup fever, despite it being the weekend of England’s first match. Everyone was there to enjoy the music, and more importantly, themselves.
The reason I was there was for two bands in particular...Rage Against The Machine and Aerosmith. Pure and simple. But I do love a good festival atmosphere, and I’m also quite partial to men with tattoo’s so as I’m sure you can imagine – I was in my element! Age is a bitch though, (and a particularly mean bitch at that) and so I’m suffering now from back pain after sleeping on an airbed for three nights, and chronic heartburn after surviving on a diet of burger van cuisine and pot noodles for the weekend. Never the less though the three of us had an amazing time. Will was the epitome of patience (being an aging rocker – albeit minus the ponytail now) having to accompany a couple of daft girls around the place...I think he loved it really...and Jonesy gave me the highlight of my weekend...
Whilst hundreds of pierced, tattooed, studded, leather jacketed rockers wearily made their way back to the campsite on the last night, Jonesy mused (rather loudly) over how much she was looking forward to listening to a bit of pop music. We were quite certain this would lead to someone sticking their size eleven biker boot into the side of her face, and subtly told her to pipe down. Jonesy isn’t really one for being told what to do, so all this did was prompt her to burst into a rendition of 80’s pop icon Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”. After several pear cider’s Jonesy’s voice reaches decibel levels that the festival’s sound tech’s would be proud of, so we actually feared for her life at this point...until, much to my disbelief a skinny Irish guy wearing a Megadeath hoodie chimed in for the chorus...then his pals joined in...then some more...then the whole blummin crowd! Jonesy successfully steered them from Rick Astley, to Westlife and then into a rousing rendition of Girls Aloud’s “Something Kinda Ooh” before exclaiming triumphantly...
“I KNEW IT! You rockers think you’re all hardcore, but you can’t resist a bit of cheesy pop!”
Classic Jonesy. You’re my hero! I tell her that when I go to see her at the hospital. They tell me she can still hear me...and that one day it might help her wake up. ;o)
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