Monday, 15 November 2010

He's My Type

Most of us profess that we don’t have a “type”. None of us would like to think we’re so shallow that we’d only be attracted to someone who looks a certain way. Some of us however are acutely aware of the fact that we are attracted to the same people time after time.

Gaga, for instance is drawn to “pretty” boys. She’s naturally attracted to guys who look like they belong in a boy band, or a Calvin Klein advert. This probably shows how much more confident she is in herself than most other women, as the majority of us would shy away from such Adonis-esque males, mainly because they make a normal feminine woman feel ever so slightly butch....plus there’s something a little annoying about a man who takes longer to get ready for a night out than you do. Gaga is definitely safe in this area, because no’one takes longer to get ready for an evening out than she does!

Princess is attracted to a “protector”, someone who when times are tough can make her feel safe and secure. She’s not especially attracted to a certain look – they’re usually always attractive guys, but it’s not a specific look – as long as they have those protective qualities she’ll be attracted to them. It’s certainly not because she needs protecting, however she’s just slightly traditional, and likes her men to play a caveman “guardian” role in a relationship.

Me, well I’m attracted to man’s men. By that I mean I like a rugged man. I can appreciate a pretty boy, of course I can, but I like a man to look like he’s done a little hard work over the years. I like them to be broad, because it helps me feel daintier, and I am a sucker for a hairy man. I think this is just a natural reaction to wanting the absolute opposite of what you’ve grown up with. My poor Pops had one measly chest hair that was quickly tweezed by my Ma whenever it made an appearance, because from her perspective, she couldn’t see the point of having “just one” (I kind of see her point to be fair).

My brothers likewise are not furry...in fact I’m pretty certain that if I went for a week without shaving my legs I’d have more to show than my three brothers combined. Hilariously though they can all seem to grow fairly impressive beards (Dad could as well). I’m quite convinced Mother Nature creates men in batches...Fuzzies, Non Fuzzies, Pretty Boys, Not So Pretty Boys. It’s like she accidentally mixed a non pretty/non fuzzy batch. I can almost hear her now when she realised her error with the men in my family:

“Oh crap! Right – who mixed the non fuzzies with the uglies?? Come on...who was it? Shit, well it’s too late now, they’re cooked. Right well just give them a bit of fuzz in the facial department so they can at least cover their faces, else they’ll never get girlfriends!”

I’m joking of course. I’m proud to say that all of my bro’s are fairly pretty, and my Pops was ever such a handsome chap. Don’t tell them I said so though, or I’ll never hear the end of it.

That has left me however, ridiculously attracted to hairy “Manly” men. I know it completely grosses some women out, but for me it’s a very real display of a man’s masculinity. They’re supposed to have it! I’m not freaked out by chest, back and butt hair – the more the better as far as I’m concerned. Okay, every now and then I’ll come across a guy and be a bit “Woah”, but it would only because he’s taken hairy to new levels for me. I don’t think I could ever find it unattractive though, as I genuinely find there’s nothing nicer than lazing in bed on a Sunday morning snuggled up to a warm fuzzy chest. For me though it’s definitely the masculinity side of things that I find attractive. Deep voice, powerful commanding presence etc. A man who straightened his hair would actually make me want to be a little bit sick in my mouth. Yuk.

But what are the drawbacks of having a “type”? Well...

Pretty boys usually know they’re pretty. Men are driven by female attention as much as we’re driven by a man with charm and charisma. They know they can make a woman feel great just by giving them the time of day, so between the ages of Seventeen and Forty they tend to be players. I know this is a bit of a generalisation and I apologise to all the pretty boys out there that aren’t players, but the truth is, a lot of the time they’re heartbreakers. Even if it’s unintentional they are, and being snubbed by a pretty boy can make you feel ten times worse about yourself than being snubbed by a regular guy.

Protectors, well they’re great...but then every now and then, they get overprotective. Protectors can forget that you’re capable of making your own decisions, and reminding them (when you’re usually asking them to act as an emotional bodyguard for you), can cause problems, as you essentially strip them of their role in a relationship.

Manly men, well these are tricky. If you’re a particularly girly girl, and you’re attracted to manly men, then you’ll probably be fine. But if you’re strong, forthright and independent, then it can cause problems. Manly men get confused because they don’t know where they sit in the relationship. If you can re-wire a plug, hang a picture and do your own tiling they can easily become emasculated. It’s silly I know but men like to feel needed. Something I learned the hard way!

Knowing the above doesn’t stop us being attracted to our “types”. We’re all attracted to different looks and personalities for a reason. The world would be a very dull place if we all had the same ideas with regards to attraction. But perhaps, knowing what we know, we can try to adapt our own personalities to suit those we’re attracted to.

If we like the pretty boys, we can empower ourselves to not stand for any crap when their ego’s get too big for their boots, and we can ensure they realise a good thing when they’ve got it...if we like the protectors, perhaps we can show them how it’s their nature that gives us the strength to be strong when we need to, that it doesn’t take anything away from them, because at the end of the day we can be strong knowing that they’ll catch us if we fall...and if it’s the manly men...well whilst as a single woman, you have to be able to handle everything on your own, you have to be strong, independent, domesticated, to able to run and maintain a home and your life in general... if you’re in a relationship, maybe we can let them teach us that we don’t have to do it all by ourselves. That it’s okay to let someone else ease the burden, every now and then. Perhaps being aware of all this can help us forge stronger and more meaningful relationships with our “types”.

Or maybe not. Either way there’s nothing worse than listening to a man whinge, and as they’re incapable of changing, clearly one way or the other, it’s up to use to make the compromise!! ;-D

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