As we walked into the pub in Leamington, we were greeted by a couple of smiling gentlemen. Both looked slightly awkward, nursing their drinks and making polite conversation. They seemed pleased when my housemate asked them if they were here for the “Meet Up”, nodding enthusiastically. My housemate has been to one of these things before…I however, haven’t and really didn’t have a clue what to expect.
The point of meet ups (which are all organised on-line) is to get a bunch of strangers in a room to socialise and make new friends. You may ask why you’d want to go to a pub and chat to a load of strangers, when you could just go out with your own friends. Well it’s designed for those people who, for whatever reason, aren’t able to regularly socialise with their friends. For some, it’s because they’ve recently moved to the area for work, and they’re looking to meet new friends to ensure they have a life outside of the office. For others like me, it’s because most of my friends are all in relationships and have families, so it’s just not that easy to get together regularly for a night out.
It’s quite daunting trying to make conversation with strangers, when you have absolutely no inkling about what kind of a person they may be. Corinne had already given me the heads up in terms of the people she’d chatted to at her first meet up, and who she thought I’d enjoy chatting to, but nevertheless, striking up conversation wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I had already made the decision not to drink. I am aware that when I drink, I can become a little…well…overbearing. When Corinne drinks she becomes incredibly chatty, however when I drink I talk at people and demand to be the centre of attention. It’s all about me when I’ve had wine, and for people who don’t know me, I suppose it can come across as a bit...obnoxious. Team that with a desire to show off my vivacious personality and wonderful sense of humour (because obviously then everyone will love me, and be desperate to be my friend), I would have just ended up looking like a bit of a knobhead. Not really the first impression I would want to give off. It’s actually flummoxed me for a little while, why some people are wary of me when they first meet me as I know I'm really a rather nice person, but having seen myself drunk on a couple of occasions over the last year, when even I didn’t like me, it’s started to become clear where I’ve been letting myself down.
Usually, when I’m sober in a pub, there’s always some chav with no spatial awareness, who ends up leaning against me. Or there’ll be the fifty year old man who after a few bitter shandy’s, thinks he’s Hugh Heffner and wants to whisper (shout) slurred sweet nothings at me. There are guys who when drunk, think nothing of saying hurtful things about my weight, or lecherous comments about the size of my rack. Remaining sober while everyone else drinks is usually my idea of hell, but last night, it couldn’t have bothered me less. The women on the meet up were a mixture of ages, and had fascinating stories to tell. Some had families, some were divorced, some were career women, some were creative. They were witty, intelligent women, and the kind of women that I could talk to all night. The men pretty much all came across as bright, polite, and mature men. Again the ages of the guys ranged from late twenties to late fifties, but I had no difficulties speaking to any of them, as they were all my kind of people. I love my friends, and that will never change, but as a single woman, looking to broaden her horizons and network with likeminded people, this was a really positive experience, and I’d recommend it to anyone.
The Meet Up is planning a spring ball in April, and I’ve warned them all that I would definitely be drinking for that one. Hopefully they’ll still be talking to me the morning after!
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