Having spent most of my career working in predominantly female environments, first as a waitress, then as a travel agent, and then working within the lingerie industry, moving to the automotive industry has been...well, let's just say it has been an education!
Men often complain that women are impossible to read, and they can never tell what a woman really wants/means/is saying, but having spent the last nine months working with men in what would typically be classed as a "mans world" I can honestly say I find them just as baffling!
Men greet each other with insults for one. Women would find it quite hideous to be greeted with "Oi oi dickhead!" first thing in the morning, but men take it in their stride, often returning the greeting with something equally as rude. Men also have no problems telling you about your shortcomings to your face regardless of how little you're going to want to hear it. At least women have the common decency to bitch about you behind your back!
Men seem to have a habit of giving you nicknames which aren't always the most complimentary...my current nickname (or at least the one they call me to my face) is "short batty" roughly this translates as "short arse" which whilst accurate isn't exactly a compliment. One of my colleagues has been christened "Labrador Head" or "The Retriever" due to her glossy locks...again not the nicest of nicknames but given as a term of endearment...I think. Funnily enough we take these names and actually embrace them though. They're like a badge of acceptance if you work on the principle that men only give pet names to the people they like...that's what I'm telling myself anyway.
Men also appear to be immovable when it comes to their opinions...even when they can be proved wrong, they just can't accept hearing it from a woman. They would rather argue the toss and make themselves look like arseholes, than say "hmm...yeah you might be right there". Women like being educated and learning things that empower them. Men shy away from it seeing it as either a) demeaning to be corrected by a woman or b) that you're somehow trying to change everything they stand for, and this is a privilege only the women in their personal lives hold.
Men appear to be much better at saying no. As women we shy away from negative responses in the workplace. We try to be accommodating, and we try to flex in order to be everything to all people. You can see it in all the women out there who work full time and also try to be a mother to their children. Rather than say, "I've got a child under five, there's no possible way I can have a full time career as well and do justice to either job" we slog our guts out and break our hearts trying to do both. We manage it, but at what cost?
Equality is something the generations before us fought for, and sometimes we take for granted what some women sacrificed to give us the choice to determine our own paths. Sometimes though I can't help but feel their efforts have backfired, especially when I look at the women who no longer have the choice between a family or a career. For the majority of us the only realistic choice we have is a career...or a family AND a career. So few of us can afford to be a stay and home mum. For those of us that do choose family, we're looked down on and the assumption is made that we could never have been successful in a career. Why is this? Isn't ensuring our children have stable and happy childhoods, where they're nurtured and taught right from wrong one of the most important jobs in the world? No'one looks down their noses at teachers, and they've chosen the same vocation...just with other peoples children!
The one thing I will say about working with men though, is that it makes you act like more of a girl. Having been single for so long now, I'd forgotten what my whiney voice sounded like, and I can't remember the last time I needed to pout in order to get my own way. Here in this line of work, it feels like a daily occurrence (and yes I hate myself a little for it). It does however seem to be the only way to get on in a male dominated environment, as being assertive, forthright and open about your opinions, just gets you labelled as a ball-buster...and let's be honest very few men want their balls busted on a daily basis. Just goes to show, that as a woman, yet again, I'm the one flexing my behaviour in order for guys to feel comfortable around me!
Perhaps the lesson here for me though, is that men don't really change their behaviours between work and their home lives. Perhaps the reason I'm still single is because I haven't yet removed the ball busting side of my personality from my social interactions with men? It's difficult to accept that through being a strong modern woman, I just don't attract the right kind of men...perhaps letting my softer, less controlled and more girlish side show in my private life is the key to meeting the right man for me.
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