I’m a firm believer in being yourself when it comes to dating and relationships. I’m aware that the rules state, early on in a relationship there is a certain etiquette which prohibits sharing some of your less attractive attributes, (No guy wants to know that before you arrived for your date with him, you spent a good half an hour pumicing the hard skin off your feet, in the unlikely event he may have to touch them at some point during the evening) however I don’t believe that you should change the characteristics and behaviours that make you “You” for the sake of keeping a man interested.
I mean where can it lead, if you can’t relax and be yourself? If you’re too scared to laugh at the waiter who tripped and fell on his face on the way to serve you, for fear of your date thinking you were an evil cow, how would you be able to integrate this sick part of your personality into the relationship later on? Furthermore, why would you want to hide this fundamental part of your make-up from someone that you potentially want to spend more time with? Surely honesty about every aspect of you and your life is the key to a successful relationship?
I have never kept any part of me a secret. The way I see it, you’ve got to know all of me to fall for me, and if, knowing everything, you still see a future with me – well that’s a pretty good foundation to start on. As it is though, I’m in a quandary...I’ve recently started texting a lovely guy, and I can see that we have a lot in common. We appear to have a similar outlook on life, and seem to understand each other’s lifestyles pretty well. I find him attractive and interesting, and he seems to feel the same way about me. So at what point is it safe for me to unleash the bombshell that is...my dirty little secret?
I’ve told him about pretty much everything in my life. He knows that I’m getting divorced, he knows about my crazy family. He’s heard lots about my mental friends and he’s not scared off by the fact I’ve openly admitted to loving the Twilight Saga. He’s aware that I have had a crush on Christopher Dean since I was very young, that if there’s a Karaoke bar within a five mile radius I will “sense” it and partake in drunken singing/wailing. I may even have also admitted that I snore terribly when I’m drunk or have a cold...But there’s one thing that I’ve been keeping from him. Something that all of my friends know about me....A part of my personality that would be impossible for me to hide should anything stimulate it. Something I’m hideously embarrassed about, but also something I have no control over whatsoever.
How do I tell him I find toilet humour funny?
I don’t even mean I find it amusing. I mean I find it laugh out loud, struggle to breathe, hideous piggy snort funny. I’m the kind of girl who, even though she knows she shouldn’t, find’s old people’s uncontrollable flatulence hilarious. The kind of girl who will sit in a card shop giggling like a crazy person at one of the Off The Ceiling greeting cards with the punch line “On feeling the damp sensation in his pants, Pete suddenly realised attempting to fart the Happy Birthday tune wasn’t such a great idea”. The kind of girl who gets more enjoyment from watching her seven year old godson and his father play the “pull my finger” game, than he actually does! Seriously people...It’s just not very ladylike! Now the thing is, when is it safe to admit this? I don’t think it’s something that I could hide should the occasion require me to, and how exactly am I supposed to break this kind of news to him?
Well look, I think you’re really lovely, we have everything in common, we get on like a house on fire, I’m very attracted to you, but can I just check one thing? Do you find trumps funny?
I have to be honest, I’m not great at picking up on social subtleties but even I know that would go down like a crap sandwich.
So what do I do? I thought about trying to suppress that particular part of my sense of humour, but I know me, and it’s unrealistic to assume that I’ll be able to keep that up! I also thought about throwing it straight out there as a “childish and proud” kind of statement, but figured that would just over exaggerate the issue. So finally I’ve settled on not volunteering this information, but trying not to be ashamed of it when I do get caught out. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be for a long while, but there’s no point giving him reasons to not want to get to know me better, right? It’s not being dishonest...It’s being economical with the truth, and in the meantime – well I guess I’ll just have to sit tight and hope that he ends up being as big a kid as I am!
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